Tuesday 2 February 2016

Another Week, Another Facebook Challenge.

The latest one doing the rounds is the Motherhood Challenge where mums post pictures that make them happy to be a mum and then nominate other mums to do the same. (Sounds like too many mums to me...) 

It follows the likes of the Ice Bucket Challenge, the #NoMakeUpSelfie, the bra game and the 'I like it...' game (remember those?!)

Unlike those challenges there doesn't seem to be a reason for the Motherhood Challenge, other than a desire to spread a bit of love and positivity.

The aim of the Ice Bucket Challenge was to raise money for the ALS Association, (ALS is a progressive neurodegenerative disease that affects nerve cells in the brain and spinal cord) and the aim of the #NoMakeUpSelfie was to get women to check their boobs (the idea being it takes less time time to check than to put on your make up) but ultimately turned into a reason to raise money for Cancer Research UK. 

All very well and good but the message got lost somewhere along the way. My timeline was flooded with people chucking water about (no pun intended) and pictures of women with no make up (shock horror!) without any mention of why they were doing it. 

It subsequently turned out that a lot of people had no idea why they were doing it, other than someone had told them to on Facebook.

Like old fashioned chain letters there's a herd mentality when it comes to these things. Whether it's a fear of missing out, a desire to be part of the crowd or just enjoying a harmless bit of fun, lots of people are happy to be carried along like lemmings headed for the cliff edge. 

I have no real problem with this. Feel free to post whatever you like on Facebook, it's your timeline.* Just don't expect other people to like it or join in. 

When the #NoMakeUpSelfie craze was big I posted a question on Facebook asking why it was brave to post a photo of yourself with no make up on and I got shot down in flames. At this stage I had no idea what the challenge was about - all I could see were lots of pictures of women with no make up declaring how brave they were for doing so. In my mind it's not brave to go without make-up, it's pretty normal. 

I was accused of being a cold heartless bitch (OK, maybe not in so many words but it certainly felt like it at the time.) I was accused of not caring about other people and all because I dared to question something that Facebook had told me to do, and there lies the problem.

I donate to charity, I organise charity events, I sort out my unwanted goods and take them to charity shops and I support friends when they are raising money for their chosen charities. To suggest that I'm heartless because I don't participate in a Facebook challenge is not only idiotic, it's offensive.

It raises an interesting question about how much we think about others when we post, and indeed, whether it's important to. Maybe when I posted my #NoMakeUpSelfie question I could have been a little more diplomatic, but surely we all have the freedom to express our opinion, to encourage debate without being vilified.

Comments have been posted across the internet about how the Motherhood Challenge is offensive to people who don't or can't have children. I'm not sure I'd go so far as offensive but I can see how having your timeline flooded with examples of 'amazing mothers' if you are unable to have children, or have sadly lost children, could be incredibly upsetting. 

But does this mean the Challenge shouldn't exist just in case it upsets someone? What about Dad's? Are they not worthy of a 'Fatherhood Challenge'? Or do men just not feel the need to publicly declare their undying love for their children on a regular basis? 

We're increasingly encouraged to live our lives in the public eye. To publicly grieve when a celebrity passes away,  pledge our support to charity (often those with the biggest marketing budgets), and generally jump on the bandwagon of the latest big craze. 

It's fine to grieve when someone you love or respect has passed away. To donate to causes we feel worthwhile and to take part in any event that brings us joy. But if the first thing we consider is 'how do I share this with the world on social media?', maybe we need to question our priorities. 

Unless it's racist, homophobic, sexist or generally offensive cos let's face it, then you're just being a dick.

Some links you might be interested in:

http://www.alsa.org/
http://www.cancerresearchuk.org/


4 comments:

  1. An interesting post, Michelle. We do live our lives in full glare and forget that what we do and say can impact on others in ways we cannot understand. And as for challenges, I give them a miss.

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    1. Thanks for commenting Beatrice. I also try to ignore 'challenges' but it's quite easy to get caught up in social media hype.

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  2. Great post, Michelle! Agree with you about the herd mentality of these viral activities - like with the charity versions, the intended meaning got a bit lost. As a bereaved mother myself I don't think the Motherhood Challenge is offensive as such - far worse stuff out there to be worried about - but it's just another bit of salt in the wounds xx

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    1. Thanks Leigh! It's sometimes easy to forget that the internet is not a protected personal space and what you say/post/share has wider implications.

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