Sunday, 17 April 2016

Happy Holidays?

I'm back! Miss me?

Writing has taken a bit of a back seat recently as I have been stuck in purgatory, otherwise known as the school holidays. The place where you should be having fun - full of baking, outdoor activities, craft activities and the like - but are secretly counting down the days to handing the kids over to the school staff and enjoying a cup of coffee whilst it's still warm. 

Week one was spent under house arrest as the 3 year old had chicken pox. My time was mainly spent mediating Wii wars, doling out snacks every 30 seconds and using the phrases, 'For goodness sake,' and 'Will you 2 stop it,' whilst hiding behind the kitchen cupboard door to mutter a few choice expletives and stuff chocolate in my potty mouth.

Week 2 was spent at Center Parcs, which was fab but you kind of need a holiday afterwards to recuperate. Some of the more choice incidents were:  

  • Losing the 3 year old's coat after being in Center Parcs for approximately an hour. Obviously Mummy had failed to pack a spare or attach a tracking device to all clothing and so for the first 24 hours Mummy nobly handed over her coat and got wet instead. Fortunately, the lovely Center Parcs people called us the day after to say it had been found. Wahoo!
  • The 7 year old managing to lose his bike lock key 3 times in 3 days. Following a mad panic and being on the verge of tears, he finally found the key in his pocket...every time.
  • Having to dispose of the 3 year old's trousers and pants in the furthest bin we could find after a rather unfortunate 'accident' in the indoor adventure play area. 
  • The boys spending about 95% of the time complaining that the DVD player in the lodge weren't working and begging money for the games machines. 

On a more positive note, the 7 year old taught himself to ride a bike without stabilisers and kept referring to 'moor hens' as 'whore hens' which cheered us up no end!

I also spent a lovely 3 hours in the spa (courtesy of a lovely birthday pressie from hubby) generally enjoying a lack of boys and having a good old chuckle at the girls who turned up to sweat in a sauna with 3 inches of foundation and painted on eyebrows. 

All in all it was a great holiday (I love the kids really!) but I'm sure I won't be the only one doing a happy dance as I leave the school playground childless tomorrow morning.